This past winter we’d asked
for prayer at a prayer meeting one night. I just felt maybe God wanted us to use this avenue to get pregnant, or maybe I was just too eager and wanting the baby now. We said at prayer meeting we needed God to answer yes or no to a question we had, but told everyone that we
weren’t going to share what about. One
woman said God told her to tell us to get no medical intervention. Talk about God really answering!
But in May, I finally felt it was
our time to be pregnant, and felt again taking clomid was the way to do it. But the woman who’d gotten the verse about Luke 1:14, the one who had talked to my mother in law, she got a flat
out no in prayer, and told me so. So I went back
to God, and asked for confirmation. I
too finally got a no. I was heartbroken.
That night, I was on a way to a party, a
going away party for the woman I did lent with that was leaving for Mexico. On the way, all the sudden I was very angry
at God. I was trying all I could to get
healthy and get pregnant. Why wasn’t it
happening? And in the middle of being
mad at God, I felt God telling me not to be angry at Him, but to be angry at
Satan… so I yelled at Satan while driving to the party.
Once at the party I was
fine, and me, my birthday bud and my best friend all prayed together one last
time. It was hard to say goodbye to my
birthday bud. But later that night I was
devastated, I felt like I was dying inside, I was going crazy emotionally, and
couldn’t calm down. My husband sat with
me as I spiraled out of control for two hours.
If you know me, you know I don’t stay angry long, ten minutes is a long run for me.
So when I woke up the next morning still the same way,
we knew we should be worried. Finally, a
few hours after I woke up, I was finally calm.
We were still baffled. It was not
like me to be like this.
Part of my anger was over
the room, God had said the room needed to be put together by big garbage last
fall. Well we’d just had another big
garbage a few weeks ago, and I couldn’t understand why God needed the room to
be done now. Obviously we could have
just waited until this year and done it then.
On Friday, May 23rd,
I finally realized I needed to wake up.
I had had the flu, for weeks. I
had breast tenderness, exhaustion, confusion, frequent bathroom trips, and I
was having flashing of being angry for no reason, not as bad as the night in the car, but definitely out of character for me.
So that afternoon I asked my
husband about taking a pregnancy test.
He wanted to wait a week because of having pregnancy symptoms the last
three times I had cycles, and each negative test had been so hard to read. I asked him if he would take some time to
reconsider waiting. My birthday bud was
leaving at noon the next day for her two year missionary trip to Mexico. She had prayed so hard for us. In fact she gave us a baby blanket of faith
on Mother’s Day this year and a card saying we would be good parents. She really believed, and I wanted her to know
before she left if we were in fact pregnant.
He thought it over, and agreed my friend needed to know.
The next morning, May 24th, we took the test at 6 in the morning because I could not wait to go to the bathroom one single moment longer, and it had taken hours of telling myself to wait to make it to that point. I brought the test into the baby room, where my husband and I were staying on a mattress on the floor while my parents visited for two weeks and had our room. I took one look at the test and started bawling so hard I couldn’t breathe. My husband pulled me into his arms and said it was okay, we could keep trying. I pulled back just enough to look at him, and told him no, we didn’t need to keep trying, we were pregnant!
We couldn’t wait to share our news
with at least a few people. It was 6,
who cared, my best friend would have murdered me if I didn’t tell her as soon
as we found out we were pregnant, so I called her. I wrote my very good friend that lives a ways
from us, and my birthday bud, and let them know. I told the lady who had given us the Bible and the crib. We called my in-laws later in
the morning and told them, and then when my parents were up, we told them. I still cry when I remember my Dad’s
tears. That this wish of mine meant so
much to him, I was so very touched.
And all the angst of the week
became clear. The room could not have
waited until this big garbage because we would not have gotten the dresser, all
the clothes, the crib, and several other items over the past six months. We wouldn’t have the time right now to get it
all, nor the time as I’d soon be on bed rest. We couldn’t take the clomid because we were ALREADY pregnant. :) In truth, if we had taken it, it could have aborted our long awaited child, or caused severe birth defects. God was protecting our child, He was not preventing us from having her.
Well, my birthday bud did not get
my email. I looked at my husband an hour
before she was to be at the airport, and asked if we could go. It was about 45 minutes to get there, so
we didn’t have long to decide. He said
we could. We headed over, and met up
with my birthday bud. She had a huge
pain in the bottom with getting her bags all cleared, another luggage bag had
to be bought, all the bags had to be opened and we tried to help her repack, and it was so
stressful for her. So after she was
done, she only had a few minutes before she had to leave. She was so stressed, I didn't want to add to her plate. I debated if telling her right then was the
right thing to do… but felt I had to.
So I asked her if she would like
some good news. Still overwhelmed, she said YES. I pulled out the pregnancy test and put it in
front of her. It wasn’t two seconds
before she was crying out loud. I
worried I had hurt her, but she instead pulled me into a hug and told me how
happy she was for us, and then pulled my husband in for a hug as well. It was so very right that we met her and let
her know. :)
You know, if you time it, this all
means that we were pregnant only one week and a half after we got the crib!
There’s still more, we’re not
quite done with this story. ;)
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