Our Baby Story - Part 5 - Faith, Lent, Toy

I have a best friend, she knows everything about me.  She has been with me through hell and back again, several times, and I with her.  There is nothing we can’t share with each other, say to each other, wouldn’t do for each other.  She is such an amazing person, and God really used her during this time of growing my faith.

During the time I found it hardest to believe all God was asking of us, she looked me in the eye, and told me not to worry about the fact that I didn’t feel I could have faith at times.  She told me she’d have enough faith for both of us.  And in her saying that, it gave me the strength to try even harder to have faith.

Well, she did this amazing thing for me, something I never would have thought to do.  She started challenging us to call each thing we got our Baby thing of Faith.  So if we got a baby blanket, it was our BBOF.  Baby Blanket of Faith.  And she challenged me often on it.  Our baby room was our BROF, Baby Room of Faith.  I didn’t really see what I was doing in getting the room ready as faith, but she did, and she often told me to call it that, so I tried.  I didn’t always succeed because I just didn’t always remember, but I tried, and it helped me a lot.  And she was always there, encouraging me to believe.

I have another close friend, she lives a few provinces away now.  She has been praying along side us as well.  She was so awesome when we lost our son, she had really studied grief, and let me know that so much of what I was going through was normal.  She has been praying, and last year, she feels she got in prayer that we will be having a girl.  The funny thing is, a few years ago my birthday bud heard in prayer we'd be having a girl too.  I can't help but think that this time we will. :)

Also, during this time, my friend that lives a few provinces away challenged me to step out in faith as well.  So because of that, a few of the clothes items we have boughten have been for a girl.  Because she isn't here right now, I've been sending her pictures as the nursery has grown, and she has been so encouraging.  Between her and my best friend, they have been my cheering squad.

Lent time came around, and this is when everything set off into motion!  I have two people who have assigned roles in my life.  I have a lot of friends, but two have assigned roles.  So it was funny that over Lent God brought us together to form a team of three.  One was my best friend, one is my birthday bud, if that doesn’t explain it, we share a birthday together. :)

All three of us were going through a really hard time.  God was testing us to points we didn’t feel we could bare anymore.  Worry was heavy on us.  Now at this point, I’d had my third cycle in a row where I’d had VERY strong pregnancy symptoms for about three weeks each time, with no pregnancy.  During PMS all three times, I had 1-2 VERY dark days.  No matter how much my faith was growing the rest of the time, during those 1-2 days each cycle I became so dark and depressed.  I felt God was toying with me and my want in those dark days, I felt depressed I again wasn’t pregnant, I felt unloved, and wanted to hide from the world.  We realized it was just hormones doing it all, it is suspected I was dealing with PMDD, but that did not make it easier.  So on one of these days, we had prayer meeting, February 26th.  Because I was in such a dark place, I told everyone how I felt like I was failing my husband by being married for over six years, and still not having produced a child for him that lived.

Well that gave my birthday bud an idea.  She was going to Mexico, and was having a hard time seeing how God was going to bring everything together for her to be a missionary there.  She needed someone to pray along side her.  She wrote me the next day, February 27th to suggest this lent idea.  So she, and my best friend, and I formed a team.  Over lent, we would not allow ourselves to worry about our own problems.  Every time we started, we’d stop and pray for the worries of the other two ladies.  And we could do so knowing that they in turn were praying for us.  It was wonderful.  We got together every 7-10 days to meet in person and pray, and talk, and then prayed the rest of the time.

During this time, on March 23^rd, I saw an elephant ball toy at a local thrift store.  I kept feeling God ask me to get it.  Until this point, I hadn’t gone out and bought toys for our baby.  I had some from when I used to look after kids, and a couple had been given to me, but I had not gone out and bought any.  And I didn’t want to buy this one, it was missing the five balls it needed, and it’s tail was missing.  But still, God asked me to get it.  So I decided, God is asking, I’ll do it.  I told the girls at one of our meetings that right afterwards I was going back to the thrift store, and if it was still there, was going to buy the toy.  It was $1.75, and my best friend handed me a toonie.  I told her I could cover it.  :)  She said no, this was a gift from Aunt (her name), and she wanted our future child to have it.

I bought the toy, and then spent hours going from store to store trying to find balls that would work with it.  I could find none.  So when I got home, I emailed the company that made the toy and asked if there was a place I could find the missing tail and the missing balls.  They wrote me back to say that since it was my first time ever contacting them, they were sending them all to me for free!  Wow, God was really working here, and just over a toy.